Always Advent

I went to a Byzantine rite Easter Sunday liturgy several years ago, and they spoke Slovak (I think…) I learned this little dialogue they do in the East during Eastertime: you go up to someone and say “Christos voskresy!” And they respond, “Voistinue voskresy!”

In English, this is, “Christ is risen!” and the response, “He is risen indeed!”

I also learned about where the tradition of the Easter basket comes from. In the East, everyone coming to Divine Liturgy on Easter morning would bring a basket containing all the foods and other things they gave up for Lent–meat, dairy products, sweets, wine, etc. After Liturgy, the priest would bless all the baskets and then everyone would go off for their Easter feast.

I tried to explain this once to some super-Protestants (the kind who boycot not only Halloween but all the accoutrements of every Christian holiday: no Christmas tree, no Easter baskets, etc.) Even when I told them the Christian origins of the Easter baskets, they still said they would not take part in that custom. Oh well. My children and I enjoy this tradition even more now that we know it’s not just a secular thing. One year one of my children gave up potato chips, so she got a massive bag of Ruffles in her basket. This year two of my children gave up meat on more than just Fridays (I think they were trying to do it Monday and Wednesday also) so they got bags of beef jerky in their baskets this year.

Happy Easter to all!

I don’t make them every year, but hot cross buns are a nice Good Friday tradition that you can use as a teaching moment with children and as a way to connect with other families.

Make 11 buns according to your favorite recipe. Whether you add a cross of frosting or just cut them into the top can vary from year to year. Some people omit the frosting cross because of the traditional Lenten observance of avoiding sweets during Lent and Holy Week. I usually include it because it is a traditional reminder of the sweetness of the Cross, on which was hung our salvation.

Bring the plate of 11 hot cross buns to someone’s house or invite a family over to your house. Ask any children present to count how many there are, then ask if anyone knows why there are only 11 instead of a nice even dozen. (Answer: there are 11 hot cross buns in honor of the 11 faithful apostles. Remember that Judas was gone by this point in the Passion.)

The recipe I have is from A Continual Feast by Evelyn Birge Vitz

Ingredients:
1 pkg dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water (about 100-100 degrees F)
1 teasp. white or light brown sugar
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sweet butter
1/3 cup brown or raw sugar
1 teasp. salt
2 eggs, beaten
4 to 4 1/2 cups sifted flour
1 teasp. cinnamon
1/2 teasp. ground cloves
1/2 teasp. nutmeg
1/2 teasp. ground ginger (or substitute allspice)
2/3 cup dried currants
Optional:
1/3 cup finely diced or julienned citron

Frosting:
2 tablespoons milk
4 tablespoons confectioners’ sugar (more if needed)
grated rind of 1 lemon

Directions:
Sprinkle the yeast into the lukewarm water. Stir in 1 teaspoon sugar. Let sit until frothy.

Scald the milk. Add the butter, sugar, and salt. Stir until blended. Cool to lukewarm. Beat the eggs until light, and combine with the milk mixture. Add the yeast.

Sift 2/3 cups of the flour with the spices into a mixing bowl. Make a well, and pour in the yeast mixture. Beat for 5 minutes.

Toss the currants, and citron, if using it, with the remaining 1/2 cup of flour. Mix into the dough.

Place the dough on a lightly floured surface and knead until the dough is smooth and elastic, adding more flour if necessary. The dough should be fairly firm, otherwise it will not take the cuts for the cross.

Place the dough in a greased bowl, turning to grease the top. Cover the dough with a towel and put it to rise in a draft-free spot until doubled in volume. This will take about 2 hours.

Punch the dough down. Shape it into 2 dozen buns. (See my note above–I recommend making 22 buns with this recipe, or halve the recipe and make 11)

Place the buns 1 1/2 to 2 inches apart on well-greased cookie sheets or in muffin pans. With a sharp knife cut a cross into the top of each bun. Allow them to rise until doubled in bulk, 30-45 minutes.

Bake at 400 degrees F for about 20 minutes.

For the frosting, mix the milk with enough sugar so that the icing is not runny. Add the rind. Brush a cross on the top of each bun.

Photo above is a detail from Pieta, by Giovanni Bellini.

I just got back from the annual Holy Thursday Eucharistic Chapel Hopping thing that the children and I have done for the past 3 years: right after the Holy Thursday mass, one stops at the altar of reposition at Church for a few moments of adoration, then travels to a number of different Eucharistic chapels throughout the area, stopping by each one for a brief time, then moving on to the next one.

The total number of chapels one visits is either nine or seven (not sure why, but I suppose nine is for a novena.) This year we did the pilgrimage with a family with two very small children, so we only did three stops (which we said was for the Trinity!)

Has anyone else ever kept this yearly custom? Where did it start? Why nine chapels? Or seven? Or whatever your custom dictates?

The first year we did it, one of the kids complained a bit that she was tired.

“That’s the point,” I replied.

“It is?” she said, perplexed.

“When Jesus asked his apostles ‘Could you not watch one hour with me?’ they fell asleep because they were tired. The point is for us to be tired and offer that time for Jesus.”

Kind of a variation on the Eucharistic Holy Hour, but in motion. A very kid friendly activity, because it appeals to short attention spans.

I love seeing how the various parishes set up their Eucharistic altars. Our favorite one EVER was a nearby parish that placed the altar and the blessed sacrament in a tent made of thin netting, and placed desert-themed plants and decorations around it, then put a harpist there playing beautiful music throughout the adoration period. We didn’t want to leave!

Our pastor taught us this little prayer (which he says the nuns taught him as a child):

I have found Him whom my soul loves.
I will hold Him, and never let Him go.
(based on Song of Songs 3: 4)

The nuns as his school growing up taught the kids to say this prayer during the elevations of the host and chalice.

I usually save this one for when I return to my seat after receiving Holy Communion, because the one I learned to say at the elevations is:

My Lord and my God!
(at the elevation of the host)

and

My Jesus, mercy.
(at the elevation of the chalice)

I have a friend who’s a Dominican priest, and when he was in seminary he started praying the Divine Praises after communion. My kids and I recite these together right after Mass–they’re usually right there in the inside back cover of the missalette, although by now we’ve pretty much memorized them. One of the kids or myself leads them, out loud but quietly, and the others repeat each line.

These are all excellent ways of increasing your devotion to Jesus, especially in the Holy Eucharist and for keeping your focus on Him during the Mass.

Note: these prayer practices are not approved for public liturgical use–they’re just prayers I and my children say as private devotions.

Other than The Passion of the Christ and Jesus of Nazareth, I mean.

A great movie for the whole family to watch together sometime during Holy Week is The Prince of Egypt. I first saw this movie with my family in the theatre on Holy Saturday, 1998. That was quite an experience. It has some cartoonish elements, like the Egyptian priests and an outlandish chariot race, but overall it is a respectful and moving treatment of the story of Moses.

The direct-to-video sequel, Joseph: King of Dreams is actually quite good also.

Epic Stories of the Bible is a series of animated motion pictures released by Promenade Pictures. Twelve movies are in the works, and first one, available now, is The Ten Commandments. Voice talent on this one includes Ben Kingsley (Narrator), Christian Slater (Moses), Alfred Molina (Ramses), Elliott Gould (God). The screenwriter also wrote the screenplay for Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. I haven’t seen this one but I heard it was good.

Promenade Pictures
founded 2003
produces family films with Judeo-Christian themes
Frank Yablans (formerly of Paramount and MGM)

the next planned films
Noah’s Ark
David and Goliath

Feel free to weigh in with your recommendations!

Yesterday Catholic Exchange had a good article about credit cards:

Studies repeatedly show that we generally spend more freely when using credit cards than we do with cash and swelling card balances are on the increase. According to recent data by CardTrak.com, the median (middle number) amount of credit card debt carried by Americans is about $6,600 while the mean (or average) credit card debt load is nearly $9,900.

The “sweet spot” for most credit card companies comes from consumers who carry high balances, consistently make the minimum payments and occasionally make late payments where penalty fees are incurred. Those of us who pay off our card balances on time monthly are affectionately known in the industry as “deadbeats.”

Complete article here:
Warning! What’s in Your Wallet May be Hazardous to Your Health!

Give your children the gift of a blessing–often.

Try this simple formula every morning before school and every night at bedtime:

With your thumb, trace a cross on your child’s forehead and then say, “May the Lord Jesus bless you and give you peace, and may the prayers of the saints and angels preserve you.”

Some parents add a little sprinkling of holy water when they do this. Another form I’ve heard of is to say, “Jesus bless you, Mary keep you.” Or make up your own wording.

If you’ve never done anything like this before, it may feel awkward at first, both for you and for the children. But everyone will get used to it in time and the children will even ask for it if you forget.

Note: this blessing is not approved for use in any public liturgy. It is just a simple prayer I made up ans a simple thing I do with my children.

God bless you and them!

A small child had this conversation with her mother:

“Mommy, I didn’t know Mary was a monk.”

“A monk? I don’t think so.”

“Then why do we call her a monk?”

“We don’t call her a monk.”

“Yes, we do, in the Hail Mary when we pray the Rosary.”

“We do?”

“Yes. And why does she swim?”

“She swims?”

“Mom! In the Rosary, we say, ‘Blessed are you, a monk swimmin,’ and blessed is the fruit o’ thy womb.”

I thought this one was pretty funny. Right up there with “Howard be thy name.”

…because even prime time television, no matter how innocuous, inevitably contains some crude sexual innuendo. The Oscars tonight, for example. Not five minutes into the program, host Jon Stewart made a joke about the Hollywood writers’ strike:

“Aren’t we all glad it’s over?” (Applause applause.)

“And now, welcome to the make-up sex.” (Laughter laughter.)

Except from me. Six children under 11 and two over 14 were in the room. Can’t those people make jokes about anything else?

Sigh. So I can’t even take my kids over to my mom’s house to watch the Oscars without something objectionable on the TV. I give up. We stayed long enough to see which movie won best animated feature, though. (It was Ratatouille.)

Here is part 3 of 3 in a series by Melinda Selmys called “Catholics and Divorce”:

Link:
Part 3: Seven Sanctifications for Spouses
http://ncregister.com/site/article/6282

Part 3 quoted in full:

Seven Sanctifications For Spouses

Catholics and Divorce, part 3
BY MELINDA SELMYS
October 14-20, 2007 Issue | Posted 10/9/07 at 10:48 AM
National Catholic Register

For the last two weeks, we’ve been examining the problem of divorce, its nature and it’s causes. Last week, we looked at “7 Worldly Wisdoms.”

Today we will seek out the cure.

1. “He who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:47).

A heavy weight of grudge, complaint, injustice and remembered wrongs can sink any marriage. Wrongs remembered in times of anger are fuel thrown on the fire. Take time in prayer to recall old wounds that you haven’t healed and set them before the cross. Everything in marriage should be brought to God — whether it is something as trivial as laundry left undone, or something as serious as adultery.

Real forgiveness, like real contrition, expects no recompense: If you have forgiven, you will not be bitter about being the one who had to forgive. Rejoice. Marriage gives us many opportunities to cash in on God’s promise that we will be forgiven as we forgive.

2. “Love issues from a pure heart” (1 Timothy 1-5).

Be chaste in thought and in deed. If you rehearse adultery in the theater of your mind, you will find it difficult to resist temptation when it comes. Pornography, prurient entertainment and steamy romance novels all replace your real spouse with a figment, a sexual automaton who possesses no personality or needs beyond your own.

If your spouse is involved in these behaviors, be gentle and patient: They may be compulsive, and quite humiliating.

3. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Work together, play together, relax together, fight together — and make sure that you make separate time for each of these activities. We are often inclined to try to do the wrong things at the wrong time. If you want to rip your husband’s head off and eat it with ketchup, it isn’t the time to fight. Go calm down, then go for a walk in the park, or take the kids to the zoo.

When you’re getting along again, then it’s the time to talk about the problems in your relationship and get them resolved. I suspect that most divorces are the result of couples littering the floor with each other’s emotional entrails when angry, and then trying to keep a tight-lipped peace when they’re not.

4. “Pride goes before destruction” (Proverbs16:18).

No divorcee is ever responsible for the divorce. If they committed adultery, it was because their husband was distant and emotionally abusive. If they asked for the divorce, it was only after years of putting up with their wife’s frigidity. Marriage requires the humility to admit that you are wrong. Say, “I’m sorry,” and don’t add a “but …”

Remember that pride is the invisible vice; you can see it easily in others, only with difficulty in yourself. Frequent the sacrament of confession and get into the habit of knowing your own faults.

5. “The measure you give will be the measure you get” (Mark 4:24).

Money is always a means to an end; people are ends in themselves. It is therefore a severe perversion of the moral order to allow money to undermine a relationship. Put first things first.

If you tithe, give alms, lend to those who cannot repay you, and invest your treasure in your faith and your marriage instead of your property, then God will provide you with everything that you really need (and often with much more). Have faith in divine Providence, and there will be no need to fight or worry over money.

If your spouse cannot do this, don’t fight, and don’t worry. Discuss it reasonably and charitably and let them have their way. Better to lose your house and gain your marriage than to surround yourself with baubles and lose your spouse.

6. “Whoever would save his life will lose it” (Matthew 16:25).

If you cling to your spouse, and try to hold him captive with threats of private detectives, or with the latest tricks from the magazines at the grocery counter, you will suffocate your marriage.

Be faithful, and trust your spouse to be faithful. It is much more difficult to disappoint someone who loves and trusts you than to defy someone who holds you on a leash.

7. “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28).

Be open to filling your house with children. A child is an incarnation of your love for each other. They confirm that love, and each one is an incarnation of a different aspect of your union.

If this has not proved true in your marriage, spend more time really interacting with your children (i.e. not watching television or playing video games with them, or watching them inertly over a frazzled cup of coffee). You will find in them a reflection of the spouse you fell in love with, and they will find in you an image of God’s unconditional love.

Melinda Selmys is a staff writer at vulgatamagazine.org.

Jennifer Roback Morse writes and blogs extensively on this subject:
http://www.jennifer-roback-morse.com/

My article on my experience of divorce:
A Word That Means Divorced

Retrouvaille: help for troubled marriages
http://www.retrouvaille.org/